10 Steps for Becoming a Stripper

Jamie Spears

Jamie Spears

Today’s economy can be really tough, finding a new job is almost as difficult as keeping one. The high stress placed by large corporations on its employees has led the masses to look at alternative means for income. The following is an outlined path for becoming a stripper in modern times.

  1. Quit your day job.
    • With all of the cash that you’re going to make as an exotic dancer, there will be no need for a 9-to-5. The extra free time that you will have during daylight hours can be spent at the gym, tanning, or shopping for cute outfits.
  2. Tell all of your friends and family.
    • You should wait about 12 weeks before letting the world know about the career path you have chosen. This will give you more confidence and ease the tension about becoming a stripper.
  3. Start drinking heavily.
    • The best way to relieve stress is to start hitting the bottle. Make sure you mix the hard liquor with diet soda so that you do not develop too big of a tummy.
  4. Market yourself.
    • The best way to get the word out about you is to go out in public places wearing skimpy outfits or bikinis.
    • Try going out to a local beach wearing your tiniest swimsuit so that you get used to the comments guys make about your body.
  5. Advertise on church bulletins.
    • For example, if you lived in a small town in Louisiana, you might get a few clients by word-of-mouth. You can triple or quadruple your business by posting a flier or ad about your new found job becoming a stripper on a church bulletin board.
  6. Have a few more kids.
    • The more children that you can have, the more people feel sorry for you and tip you more money.
    • This can also bring more free advertising to your stripper aspirations. Why work for a stripping agency when people can contact you for your service.
    • You’ll be surprised at what expert help you can find without going too far. Try asking a relative or close family member on advice for free publicity by sacrificing your moral values.
  7. Expose your body parts to everyone.
    • You never know who might be watching when you step outside of our car, so be sure not to wear any underwear seeking give a sneak peek to what your customers will get.
  8. Put yourself in the spotlight to be a role model for other girls your age.
    • Why stop at becoming a stripper by yourself? Do not be selfish and enjoy the benefits of becoming a stripper all your lonesome. It is your responsibility and duty to educate an entire generation in the economics of exotic dancing.
  9. Come up with a great stage name.
    • As we come closer to the final steps of becoming a stripper, finding the right station that fits her personality is critical. To keep your anonymity, you should choose a name that is sweet and innocent, like Zoey!
  10. Finally, call your sister Britney and let her know that you’re still better than her at entertaining, parenting, and anything else involving self-control.

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